Xiaojing | Conversations in the Car

A couple of days ago, I went to Mengding for a trip.

I, Yanzi, and Yang Mi sat in the same car. I was the driver. To prevent me from dozing off, the three of us talked a lot. However, most of the time it was me and Yanzi talking, while Yang Mi listened. Sometimes Yang Mi would try to find a topic, and as she thought, she would start to fall asleep, until my yawn startled her awake.

Yanzi:

"When I was little, I had a thought: I must go see this world. I didn't know why, but I just wanted to go and see."

"I have never been afraid of parting. I don't even know why others cry when they separate. When I see someone leaving, I only feel envy in my heart. If I like him, we might meet again in the future."

"When other people's cats come to my house and meow, I find it so annoying! They're not cute at all. My own cat is different."

"When a pig is slaughtered, its squeal makes me feel pity. But I can kill fish. It also feels pitiful, but I can still do it."

"I don't believe in Buddhism or any religion, but when I'm in a scary situation, I still chant things like 'Amitabha' to comfort myself."

"When I was little, I loved going up the mountain to pick things, but my grandpa didn't like me bringing those things home. Only once, I picked an osmanthus sapling and planted it in front of the house. This time, he didn't pull it out. Later, when I grew up and we moved, he said he wanted to move the osmanthus tree along with us, because it was planted by little Yanzi."

"I like people who plant flowers and grass at home. I always feel that such a home must be lived in by romantic people."

"Every time I want to write for my official account, I end up writing and then deleting it. I have a sense of shame about expressing myself. In the end, I can only write simply like posting on Moments."

"I don't dare to express myself truthfully. I'm afraid that others will see me when I don't know how."

"I can't do jobs like being a reporter. Sometimes I also want to take documentary photos, but I can't help retouching them, shooting from an angle that looks beautiful."

"Do you know why we like you? Because you have something we don't have. We are too slick." This sentence was said by Yanzi to Yang Mi.

Me:

"When I was in my teens, I had a friend who played guitar every day in the square, even his fingers were broken from playing. He had no money. At that time, I envied him. I also wanted to have something I loved doing, even if I had no money."

"Last time I went home to visit my uncle, he dug up a lily on the hillside and gave it to us. He held the lily in his palm, showed it to us, and then immediately tossed it away. I was a bit surprised at first, but then I understood right away. He threw away the lily like we casually toss away the Bidens flowers we pick by the roadside. It's nothing special. If he held a wild lily he didn't care about in his hands like a treasure, that would probably not be worth much either."

"I also can't write or take photos with absolute truth. Sometimes I can only try to lean closer to the truth, but I know that others will see it, and I can't shake off that feeling. But because we have this awareness, knowing that truth is good, that's enough. One day we will break through."

"I don't think I'm slick, although many times I am an annoying person, but I know in my heart what true slickness is. Although you always say you are cold, I don't think so. I believe that at crucial moments, most people who seem good on the surface won't be as kind as you." I said this to Yanzi.

Probably, even if I didn't say it, Yanzi knew this in her heart.

Always over-expressing myself, this is my current problem. In the past, I didn't express myself, so now I over-express. Like in the past, I never said 'no', now I always say 'no'. In any stage of life, people tend to go overboard.

Yang Mi:

"I came to Dali because at that time, I wanted to find another possibility."

"Maybe I used to be too obedient."

Although Yang Mi doesn't talk much, she has her own ideas, though this time I can't describe clearly.

Furthermore:

"Is your home far from Xiangxi?" Yanzi asked me.

"My home is in Xiangxi," I replied.

"Is there really corpse-walking there?" Yanzi asked again.

"I don't know, I've never seen it. But they say there is a village where everyone there knows where their past life was," I replied.

"Some people just collect information. Ask around and you'll find out." That's roughly what Yanzi said.

Haha, nothing can fool Yanzi.

Yang Min

Xiaojing

Yanzi

Yang Min Li Zhenhao

Photos