Summer Notes - Reflections on the Role of 'Captain'

Recent events and people have prompted me to reflect on the role I play as 'Captain':

In early June, I initiated another sailing expedition, using AI Deepseek to compile my resume and experience. As a recruitment post for the activity, I naturally packaged and published my bright and shiny side. However, through communication with those interested and some people I recently met, I discovered some other perspectives......

In the summer of 2026, I would like to invite you to the English Channel to feel the breeze.

Here I want to honestly share some thoughts about the seemingly elite role of 'Captain Tie of the Compassionate Voyage':

First of all, before studying abroad at the age of 17, I was just an ordinary person, even a somewhat rebellious high school student. My memories of elementary school were simple and happy, because I grew up freely without any pressure. In middle school, because my mother was in business and had no time to take care of me, I attended a private school. There I gradually began to understand human relations and some unspoken rules of society. In high school, because I grew my hair long and wore unconventional clothes, I was labeled as a problem student by school leaders and my homeroom teacher. Later, I dated, read extracurricular books, and violated many school rules, resulting in my parents being called in. By my senior year, teachers started advising me to drop out so as not to affect the school's college admission rate......

From a certain perspective, I was indeed a troubled teenager back then. I watched "Slam Dunk" and tried to emulate Rukawa Kaede, liked to act cool, and particularly disliked being suppressed by various policies, feeling that forced learning was completely meaningless.

My mother was called to school many times. Seeing my mental state and that rebellious attitude, she simply closed her business and came back to accompany me. Later, because my cousin went to study in the UK and returned with a fresh impression on the whole family, my family considered letting me make a choice: we had some savings, either open a small convenience store at the doorstep for a stable life, or take a gamble and go to the UK. After discussion, we chose the latter.

On January 11, 2000, I landed in London on a flight from Beijing. Through an agency, I enrolled in a language school in the southern coastal city of Portsmouth in the UK. At that time, my English was just "Thank you," "OK," and that's it. I couldn't understand anything else, and the British accent was very heavy. I lived with a host family, and my most vivid memory was one day I ate the landlady's dinner. She was very angry when she came home from work. Later, I moved to live with other Chinese international students and cooked together.

After paying half a year's tuition and agency fees, I had almost no money left. To survive, I had to look for jobs everywhere. I basically walked around all the nearby bars and restaurants but didn't get hired. Later, I bought a bicycle and got my first job through an agency as a cleaner at a primary school. With poor English and cultural differences, I often felt discriminated against. Then I worked in factory packaging, at a refrigerator factory, and on a salad production line. During breaks, I worked full-time, even doing double shifts (two eight-hour shifts). Eventually, my body couldn't take it anymore, and I felt that path had no future, so I took a year off from school to venture out on my own in London.

Looking back now, it's true that people grow fastest in adversity, but you also need balance and proper rest. As the saying goes, "What goes around comes around!" Later, the story in London could fill a book. The core message I want to share is that life needs hope and effort. As the British saying goes, "If you want it, go and get it!"

My English and personality began to change when I worked as a door-to-door salesman in London. I knocked on doors from government-subsidized housing to movie stars' mansions. I faced many rejections but also developed a poker face. Later, I realized that selling is about buying the person, not the product. Many deals closed because people liked you or wanted to support you.

Fortunately, I went from an informal college to a 2+1 program at Kingston University, earning a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration. During my one year of university, I didn't have time to party like British students. The tutors wouldn't come to you; you had to approach them for advice and then research and write your papers on your own. One memorable moment in a large lecture was when a teacher said, "The real business people are out there doing it, not here teaching!"

Another time, in a big lecture, a rude foreign student in the back row spilled coffee all over me. When I asked for an apology and dry cleaning money, he cursed at me. I got angry and punched him. The principal found out but didn't punish me; instead, he made the other guy apologize.

After graduating, I was very confused. On one hand, I was glad to have some social and work experience. On the other hand, I felt I was still scraping the bottom of society and hadn't entered the British upper class. At that time, it was difficult for Chinese people to stay, except for a few real elites who could get work visas. I didn't want to end up working in Chinese restaurants run by Hong Kong people, as they were too competitive. Nor did I want to work in Chinese medicine shops. One day, passing by STA Travel in Chinatown, I saw round-the-world tickets for less than 1000 pounds. On a whim, I bought one and started arranging visas for a summer trip to Australia, the US, etc., hoping to find a suitable job or change my environment. What was planned as six weeks turned into six months of semi-gap year!

Singapore, Australia, Fiji, the US, Mexico (unplanned), Canada. I backpacked, stayed in hostels, hitchhiked, and had various adventures. During this long trip, I discovered several points that still influence my life decisions:

1. Many people do simple jobs but are very fulfilled and happy.

2. Life is a bit like acting in a movie; the once-dreamed city elite life felt like a repetitive loop.

3. Just do it. Difficulties and obstacles are imagined; everything is possible.

Even now, I often hesitate, wander, and make many foolish and wrong decisions. But at critical moments, an inner voice reminds me and guides me back to what's called "authenticity."

Later, I ran out of money and returned to London and then to my hometown in Dalian. When I shared my insights with others, many thought I was abnormal, even unrealistic. At the time, I wanted to live my own way—studying and residing in Japan, continuing to travel, or even getting a boat to sail!

Reality pulled me back with my London credit card bills. I returned to the headhunting agency where I had interned, started working full-time, and smoothly got my boss to sponsor my work visa. At that time, Silicon Valley tech companies were expanding rapidly and needed to poach talent from competitors in the Asia-Pacific region. I learned to move high-end talent for capitalism, exchanging information for high service fees. During the 2008 financial crisis, our own company's people were poached, jumped ship, or started their own businesses. After all, in business rules, interests come first. I received several attractive offers, but something felt off. My mentor at the time was drinking heavily, his family fell apart, and colleagues dispersed.

One day on the London Tube, I saw an ad in Metro newspaper: "Round-the-world sailing race recruiting crew, no experience required, training provided!" Similar to my first door-to-door sales job. I called to inquire and signed up. I took a one-year sabbatical from work and never went back. From then on, my sailing career began......

The Clipper Round the World Yacht Race wasn't cheap. Participating in one leg cost about 5000 pounds for a month, plus training and equipment—total around 100,000 yuan. But I didn't regret it at all; every penny was worth it, opening the door to a new world! Through this race, I integrated into the British sailing circle. I loved the challenge, the genuine interdependence and reliance on each other at sea in the face of danger, the feeling of insignificance before nature, and the simple even tough environment that made us cherish resources......

Because I loved it, I devoted myself to learning. Sailing is as vast as the ocean: becoming a captain requires mastering countless knowledge and experiences, as well as tempering. There's a saying in the circle: "A sailor who doesn't want to be a captain is not a good sailor!" I started by paying for training, then, because I was proactive and could cook, I got opportunities to help deliver boats with experienced captains in exchange for passage. After obtaining my certificate, I started taking jobs as captain or first mate. Honestly, I still feel inexperienced; there's still much to learn. But at least I dare to take responsibility and try to play the role of 'captain,' sharing the charm of sailing in my own way.

2012 was a year of upheaval. I nearly broke myself by pushing too hard. Amid numerous temptations and opportunities, I almost lost myself. Wanting everything and over-planning the future almost led me into depression. In the blue-collar financial circle in London, I suffered insomnia, anxiety, and excessive thinking until I shut down. Yes, I cut off all contact with the outside world, went from the Rainbow Gathering in Morocco to the Canary Islands, and started living as a hippie: foraging food, squatting in empty houses and caves, not using phones or computers or money, trying to break all the structures and habitual thinking patterns built by my civilized elite education. I redefined my identity countless times and wandered like that for six months.

Later, when I turned my devices back on, I realized I wasn't as important as I thought. The things I cared about had been forgotten by many. I was overthinking, taking myself too seriously!

With that realization, I completely let go of my past ambitions and started going with the flow. I bought a 24-foot sailboat in the UK for over 2000 pounds, which became my floating castle. I drifted along the Atlantic currents to various ports in France, Spain, and Portugal. I learned music from street-performing traveling musicians, studied permaculture, and absorbed energy in intentional communities.

Until I went home for Chinese New Year in 2015 and saw my mother needed care. Chasing my ambitions and letting loose had no meaning. My conscience awakened, and I decided to start living with her. Then, by chance, we went from Europe to Dali, Yunnan. Later, I joined a vegetable community and interacting with a bunch of unconventional kids made me discover my value. I taught English and outdoor classes, and occasionally took people sailing, thus beginning 'Tie's Sailing.'

And so, eleven years passed, and I'm still in Dali. From the sea to the mountains, I'm now a father of two.

I used to constantly escape my identity and various problems. Later, I realized that nothing is perfect; we are all imperfect.

During my travels, I came across a saying that even wandering, traveling, and even sailing had become a routine—a loop. Like Sun Wukong could never escape the Buddha's palm. This perception once made me suffer, because no matter how hard I tried to change myself, habits pulled me back.

Even my own mind has been guiding my life, and thoughts are always changing, like my moods and states: sometimes good, sometimes bad. I only wanted good experiences and rejected bad feelings.

Either too passionate or too indifferent; after blending in with people, I would get annoyed and seek isolation. I struggled with this for many years, and even now, I am often swept away by habits.

Gradually, I discovered dynamic balance, awareness, observation, and equanimity in accepting everything. I began to actively use these accumulations to guide my mind. Later, I even realized that the more relaxed and effortless, the better. Try not to analyze and judge with my limited cognition. Follow the way of nature; I am already on this path. And not only me, but all people are on this path, no matter how tortuous it seems; eventually, everyone will arrive!

Here, I thank everyone who has inspired me, whether through joyful or troublesome experiences!

Goodnight, everyone

Morning to some

WeChat article · WeChat article